THE royal wedding MY WAY

With months of anticipation, it only hit me a week ago that the royal wedding was happening, and it took me a few hours after the wedding to realize that I wasn't the one marrying Harry. Anyhow, you bet I woke up and watched it, live and then on repeat all day, and cried, chocked, awed. So if you didn't or are not into the royals, you can leave now.

I'm going to start with my overall opinion, assuming that you have pretty much idea of what happened. Ok, here you go, ladies and gentlemen: while Harry and Meghan became the Duke and Duchess of Sussex we have seen the monarchy catapulted into the most progressive potent version of itself it's ever seen. Queen approved.

I know it's quite the statement, but I have a theory. I had to watch the whole thing twice, because the first one, live on the Kensington Palace Facebook page, I wimped so much I was a wreck and I knew there was too much I had missed.

When I watched the PBS version, still no commentary, yet with that anticipation feeling "wait, look at Harry here" I realized what had happened, right in front of our eyes: the Monarchy had became this modern, progressive fairy tale that we all desperately need in times like these. And, no, I don't think Meghan is just a climber, these guys are pure love, they don't NEED each other to be better, they are an incredible, strong, powerful, progressive, modern inspiration and influence for all of us, they encompass generations. 

Don't be fouled, pomp was still there, it was a magnificently orchestrated celebration, but the message was clear: the woman who is marrying Harry is not "an American divorcee who became famous on a TV series" like she had been stereotyped, she is a strong biracial badass woman that makes things happen with grace, poise, a smile and a brain and that happened to be on "Suits" but also called out a soap manufacturer for a racist un-feminist ad when she was 11

Also, she will be HRH Princess Henry of Wales, not Princess Meghan (get your stuff right).

Given that Harry didn't have the protocol restrictions his brother had, they broke all or as many as they pleased royal traditions, from the cake (from a hipster East End cake shop) to the soul choir, from holding their hands and the Queen not flinching. What the heck, wouldn't you have done the same? If you are still with me but bewildered and in disagreement, let me show you why I am right. 

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THE SOLO WALK

I cried. But I also kept crying when Charles met her half way at the Quire, so don't quote me, but walking that nave alone looked more terrifying than for Carrie must have been the realization that Big wasn't going to come to the wedding. Only difference: this was real, like my tears.

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THE DRESS

"It was too simple" "Wasn't fitted enough" "Didn't have the wow effect": sorry, you just missed the point. Meghan envisioned the dress with Claire Waight Keller, the first female Artistic Director of Givenchy (did you know this? can you see where's the Meghan Effect going?). Minimal elegance, modernity, sleek lines, bateau neckline, train and "six meticulously placed seams", the Givenchy codes meet the Meghan Effect. if you are not wowed by all of the above, then you should have maybe opted for a binge watch of "Dynasty".

THE VEIL 

Needs an Instagram account by itself. You know, if you have followed my peregrinations on Instagram, how badly I wanted a long veil. And I called it: not only the veil was long, but it was the focal point of the outfit. To highlight the elaborate and exquisite embroidery on those 5 meters of silk tulle, the dress was purposefully left minimal. The flora of each of the 53 Countries of the Commonwealth was represented, honoring the role as Commonwealth Youth Ambassador that the Queen bestowed upon Harry.  Don't get distracted, sum up the points of the Meghan Effect. And just because we are royals here, she chose two extra favorites: one flower that grows in front of Nottingham Cottage  and the California Poppy, because yes. 

THE TIARA

Gave me life, it was stunning seeing her head sparkle on the carriage ride. I am just going to mention the hair, because it doesn't deserve any more than "fail", sorry, it wasn't time for a messy bun. To say it with my friend Ed, "that recalcitrant lock of hair" was disturbing to say the least. By now you could find me crying in the kitchen.

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DORIA

I mean. Poise, grace, honor, strength, power, pride all by herself. Like mother like daughter. I cried. 

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HARRY'S LIP BITE

It's a thing by now. Got me (and millions of #teamHarry peeps) hyperventilating.

THE QUEEN

She is the only one in the world that can wear the most unforgiving colors, like Gatorade lime anyone?, in the most spectacular way. I cried. And, besides, she IS the Queen, but that Harry is her favorite we all know, and she made Phillip come, and when she wants something, there's no pointing a finger like Kate, she raises the eyebrow and poor Phil comes along. She also brought Meghan's rescue dog and a diamond brooch with her, she is an equal opportunity lender.

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DIANA

She was present, and not in a creepy way, I am saying you could see her smiling looking at how Harry was the portrait of love. I am crying now because I am not sure you have realized there was an empty seat to William's right, first pew, right in front of granny and that was Diana's. Yup, now you can cry too.

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THE BOUQUET

Harry picked the flowers yesterday from their Cottage's garden where also Diana's favorite flowers are planted, the Forget-Me-Nots. I am crying right now. 

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CELLIST SHEKU-KANNEH-MASON

Big shout out to this young talent and his impeccable performance.

CAMILLA

I know I called her "that irrelevant step-mother", because she never wastes an occasion to show how ordinary and un-sophisticated she is. 

THE SERMON

Oh boy: he started off magnificent, he created the headlines for all tomorrow's newspapers "There's power in love" then he lost me on "fire" and I have no idea what happened after, but who am I, if not a commoner in pajama trying to sustain my tears of joy with another cup of coffee?

KATE

Tired af, repurposed the dress (which I am sure Meghan appreciated) just went for a change of fascinator, was lost at times during the ceremony, possibly sleeping with her eyes open, or the milk surging which is never the best feeling especially when you happen to be at the royal wedding. Kate does no wrong, and, excuse me, but she had a baby 26 days ago. BTW, Char and George did their own thing, they kinda listened to what they needed to do, Kate didn't have to point the finger, but boy if they gave Gary Janetti enough material.

 THE GUESTS

I am going to try to keep it short: Oprah didn't hire a stylist and it was a bad decision, but Oprah, so whatevs, I am glad she forgot the hat ... ; the Beckham flat pulse; Amal, Serena and the Suits family get the winning cup for me; George, like my friend Elizabeth Holmes who has  "so many thoughts" said: why are you not in a morning suit? 

THE CARRIAGE

It wasn't a Disney movie, if you thought the same thing, the tiara, the second kiss, their holding hands, their waving, the happiness, the last minutes we saw the whole show 

THE JAMES BOND MOMENT

Where do I start from? She is in bespoke Stella McCartney, he is in a tux (Thank you Jesus), there's a 1968 Jaguar E Type converted to electric, because, hello!, Harry and Meghan? the first one that tells me that "a sustainable living is not sexy". Hold on, the car is blue, right, and guess what's Meghan sporting? Diana's aquamarine solitaire, the third wheel in the car. It wasn't big, it needed a certificate of occupancy and a seatbelt.  

FUN FACTS: I woke up at 5 minutes to 6am, panicking, by the time all was set the parade of celebrities had already strutted, first glimpse I had of the royal wedding was Oprah's hat and I have reasons to believe that is why I couldn't stop crying. 

MOMENT OF PANIC: Leave it to the royal family to time the seconds and withhold cell phones of half of the world, but there was that moment when the crowds intensified the cheering as Meghan was approaching St. George's Chapel but granny hadn't arrived yet and Kate was just riding the stairs with the pageants. I panicked. Then I saw Meghan's best friend having a Pippa moment in her royal blue dress, I got distracted, brought to reality again "oh, they are humans" type of moment of truth, and went along. Also, the girls white ballerinas were a gift from Meghan: Aquazzurra and personalized with their initials.

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